What We Learned from The Walking Dead
The television program dominating every office water cooler discussion right now is, of course, Game of Thrones. However, the program dominating our household water dispenser discussion is The Walking Dead, as we just finally got around to watching the finale of Season 9, and we're waiting to binge the full season of GoT during a 7-day free trial. And while GoT may have the edge on being infinitely more exciting and enjoyable to watch, TWD offers perhaps more insight into what life would look like in a dystopian future. Based on our astute research, here's what we know to be true about human life in the apocalypse.
No One Remembers Sports During the Apocalypse
The Walking Dead is less about zombies and more about human relations during the Final Days. And imagine how better those relations would be if people just talked about sports. Consider if Rick and Negan somehow discovered early on that they were both Auburn grads. Instead of killing each other’s people for three seasons, they’d get together every now and then to trade bullets and rhubarb while reminiscing about that last minute win over 'Bama in ’15.
There are No Good Cars in the End of Days
When surveyed about the apocalypse, 58% of men claimed that the first thing they would do after society falls is steal a Jeep Cherokee SRT and drive about 120 MPH though a school zone. This does not appear to be possible in The Walking Dead apocalypse as the only four cars are a 1987 Ford Ranger, a ’78 Chevy Caprice, and two RVs. It appears that, despite all their exploration, no one happened upon the Cadillac dealership in Decatur.
Everyone Wears Button-Down Henleys During the Armageddon
It doesn’t matter what side you’re on, everyone - man or woman, dead or alive - seems to dress the same in the apocalypse. You would think comfort would be the predominant driver of apparel choices, but there are apparently no hoodies or track pants in the end of days. Rather, it would appear the first thing everyone did was raid an Eddie Bauer warehouse so they could achieve an “outdoor casual” look complete with henleys, flannels, and khaki cargos in a non-descript color palette evocative of the Spring ’08 collection.
Apparently, You Can’t Use the Word 'Zombie' In the End of Time
One would think that when you first encounter a dead dude who eats live dudes, you may be prone to use the word “zombie.” Perhaps you might remember a movie, or old Halloween costumes, or the video to "Thriller," and you’d be like, “Yes, this is just like those zombies I recall seeing in popular culture.” But in The Walking Dead, no less than 46 terms have been used to describe the zombies, none of which are zombie.