It’s the day before St. Nick’s annual drop-in. Now obviously, covering the entire planet in one night, while hitting an on-time delivery threshold any logistics company would be envious of, is a no small task. Accordingly, we encourage you to think outside the plate when putting out snack offerings for the big man. Here are some ways to keep Team Santa fortified, jolly, and, of course, incentivized to return next year with a big red ribbon around a vintage Robocop pinball machine for your man cave.
For the busy man on the go, nothing satisfies like a mitten full of protein. As Santa himself has been famously heard to exclaim, “You can’t eat just one!”
The high-octane fuel of the working man. A hot cup of joe warms the bones on a cold night while also ensuring you stay alert on slippery rooftops. And if you really want to score some points, leave a full thermos out for the man (we recommend one of those snazzy red plaid numbers).
We’d bet our exterior Christmas light display Santa would appreciate a jar of these fermented wonders. Bonus: pickle juice is chock full of electrolytes, and we all know that delivering joy to every house on the planet is an endurance sport that requires hydration.
Quick, portable protein when he needs it. But considering the make-up of Santa’s transportation team, maybe skip the venison variety?
SOFT PRETZELS WITH MUSTARD CHEESE DIP
What better way to escape the monotony of sliding down sooty chimneys to deliver satchels of plastic toys than a quick break with some finger food that has the power to transport one (at least temporarily) to a happier place, such as a minor league baseball game or Munich during Oktoberfest?
PEANUTS AND BEER
Ten out of ten Teamsters prefer this storied combo of carbs and protein after a hard day on the highways or picking orders in the warehouse, and really, what is Santa other than a transport specialist? So raise a glass of golden, Santa! (But maybe put that sleigh on self-drive.) And don’t forget to fill your pockets with some honey-roasted treats for the road.
PIZZA AND WINGS
Imagine scurrying out of that fireplace into yet another home, cold and tired, and beholding on the hearth not another glass of 2% and store-bought butter cookies, but a hand-tossed, extra-large sausage and mushroom pizza and a dozen steaming buffalo wings with a side of ranch. Now that’s a Christmas miracle.
The perfect snack for every occasion, and what is Christmas if not an occasion? Deviled eggs are delicious, portable, and classy. Also, a handsome plate of yolk wizardry demonstrates that you put in some effort, which everyone (especially Santa) respects.
A glass of whiskey in front of a roaring fire on a winter night is a classic scene. On this night however, you are going to want to ixnay on the ameflay, and just go with the whiskey.
WE INTERRUPT THIS PROMOTIONAL MESSAGE TO WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS
You read that right: No promotions this week, no gifts with purchase—just glad tidings to you and yours for the holiday season and the New Year. You’ve worked harder, smelled better, and we appreciate it. Cheers.