PARTING WAYS WITH YOUR LAWNMOWER FOR THE YEAR
It is a solemn time of year for most of us, a time where we must prepare ourselves to bid a temporary farewell to a stalwart friend and trusted companion: our lawnmower. And while putting your steed into a medically induced coma is a somber occasion to be sure, when done properly it will ensure your comrade rests easy until it is time to rise again. Here are some ways you can prepare, both mechanically and emotionally, to ensure a restful slumber for both you and your noisy chum.
EMPTY THE TANK
Additive products such as STA-BIL and Sea Foam have their supporters, and we confess to having both on hand, but we’ll stick to taking one last ride to expend the remaining gas out of the tank, thank you very much. The key is to not completely fill the tank for those last melancholy mid-October mows. Then, simply run the mower around for one last, glorious hurrah of leaf mulching until it sputters and stops.
REMOVE THE BATTERY (IF ELECTRIC)
For those who have made the switch to an electric lawnmower, know this: Batteries are a lot like small dogs and old people, and do not respond well to the cold. So be sure to remove the power cell and store it in a warm, dry place. Say, for instance, on the fireplace mantle, next to your family portrait and the trophy bass grandma caught off the dock that one time.
PROVIDE SHELTER
This one should be obvious, but on the off chance your rider remains exposed to the elements all winter, we kindly suggest you find a shed, heated garage, or spare room in the basement post haste, lest ye be charged by the local authorities with willful neglect.
HIRE A MEDICINE MAN
Duke Cannon is New Age curious at best, but what could it hurt to bring in a metaphysical ringer to grant some blessings to your little buddy with a sprig of sage, some black obsidian, and a prayer to the Great Spirit? Many men have certainly put their faith in far more ludicrous things (like the San Diego Chargers, for instance).
SAY A FEW WORDS
Before shutting the shed / garage door, take a couple moments to end with a positive, affirming message. Speak from the heart. We always find it helps to gather our thoughts beforehand (using notecards to stay on message is not frowned upon, either). And lastly, remember, this isn’t goodbye, it’s “see you later.”
