HOW TO MAKE (AND STAY ON) THE NICE LIST, 2023 EDITION
Holiday mischief and shenanigans are all well and good, but being on the fabled “nice list” this time of year is something every hard-working fellow should strive for. Call it karma, call it being on Santa’s good side, here are some suggestions to help ensure that a literal lump of coal doesn’t land inside your stocking this year.
CLEAR YOUR NEIGHBOR'S SIDEWALK DURING A SNOW EVENT
You’re already bundled up and have a good head of steam going with the shovel. Or maybe your snowblower is really humming after clearing your driveway. So why not keep going and help out a fellow resident? You say it’s cold out? Yes, that’s the point—your neighbor Earl just retired, so let him enjoy his warm, comfy recliner while your able-bodied self does him a solid.
HELP A BUDDY MOVE SOMETHING HEAVY
We get it: no one is sitting there watching a ballgame after a long day at work, hoping a friend will call and ask them for help moving a used washer they obtained for pennies on the dollar via some suspect online marketplace. But when that call eventually comes (and rest assured it will), just say “what time?,” then put on your big boy pants and get ready to heft. And remember: lift with your legs.
HOLD THE DOOR FOR SOMEONE
It feels old-fashioned (although we wish that were not the case). But in Duke Cannon Country this is a daily occurrence; as common as drawing breath. It’s a simple, elegant act that speaks volumes, and the fact is the more you do it, the more you like doing it.
DON'T BE A CLOWN
A man can, and probably should, have a signature scent of some sort, but that scent should not be described as “junior high locker room.” In other words, back slowly away from the can of body spray.
DO THE DISHES
Whether you are a family man or someone who has a roommate, there is a mealtime reality we all must face, and that is this: preparing, eating and consuming food creates dirty dishes. So do your dishes. Do the family’s dishes. Surprise your buddy by putting his stack of cereal bowls in the dishwasher. Sainthood is now within your grasp.
BUY DAD SOME GOOD BOURBON
Pop does a good job of keeping a healthy stock of Old Crow on hand. But considering that this man taught you how to tighten up your spiral (among many other things), it seems it would be good form to introduce him to something that has been aged longer than the lifespan of a fruit fly. Cheers.
BE NICE
Sure, it may sound simplistic, but the legendary “cooler” known as James Dalton uttered these immortal words in the cinematic gem Roadhouse, and we would not presume to try and improve upon his efforts.
